How to Work My Apartment Shower

1. Turn on the hot water.
2. Make a sandwich. Call a loved one. Have a good time! It'll be awhile.
3. Check to see if the hot water has turned on. If not, repeat step two. If so, continue to step four.
4. Apply ointment and bandages to all burns.
5. Fiddle (that's a technical term) with both the cold and hot water knobs until the water is a bearable temperature. This is hard to do with bandages covering the burn marks on your hands. Bring a television! It'll ease the boredom.
6. Get into the shower. Watch out for the super slick coating on the shower floor.
7. Fall over.
8. Swear.
9. Check to make sure all vital bodily components are still in place.
10. Get out of shower.
11. Drink beer.